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- What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
- You can unscrew a lightbulb. submitted by: funnybunny
- What do you call the space between Pamela Anderson Lee's Breasts?
- Silicon Valley.
- Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice carton?
- Because it said concentrate. submitted by: DLY
- What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
- A dope ring.
- Why is Tigger always so dirty?
- Because he plays with Pooh.
- Why are E.T's eyes so big?
- Because he saw the phone bill.
- What did Hannible Lector say when he saw Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera on TV?
- Mmm... Pop Tarts.
- First idiot: Are my indicators working?
Second idiot: Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.
- Why did the idiot bury his car?
- Somebody told him his battery was dead.
- Why did the idiot take his bicycle to bed?
- He didn't want to walk in his sleep.
- Whats the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
- Porcupines have pricks on the outside.
- How many letters are there in the alphabet?
- Twenty-four, ET went home.
- Why are barium, helium, and curium called the medical elements?
- Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium.
- Whats worse than being raped by Jack The Ripper?
- Getting fingered by Captain Hook.
- First man: Do you smoke after making love?
- Second man: I dont know, I'v never looked.
- What happens when nymphomaniacs have a party?
- Everybody comes.
- Did you hear about the well endowed father who took part in his sons sports day activities?
- He won the three legged race all by himself.
- How do you make a stupid woman burn her ear?
- Ring her up when shes ironing.
- What do a penis and a Rubix cube have in common?
- The more you play with them, the harder they get.
- Why are men like public toilets?
- Because all the good ones are taken, and the rest are full of shit.
- Why was the washing machine laughing?
- It was taking the piss out of the knickers. SUBMITED BY: FUNNYBUNNY.
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- Whats the difference between good girls and nice girls?
- Good girls go out, go home, then go to bed! Nice girls go out, go to bed and then go home. submitted by: pat
- Two blondes walked into a bar!
- You would have thought one of them would have seen it. submitted by: Danni C
- What has three balls and comes from outer space?
- E.T, The Extra Testicle. submitted by: funnybunny
- Why did the blonde plant cheerios in her garden?
- She thought they were doughnut seeds.
- Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
- Because she gets a frog in her throat at 69. submitted by: funnybunny
- What did the blonde say to her doctor, when he told her she was pregnant?
- Is it mine.
- What city in Ireland hates Southpark?
- KillKenny.
- What does the Starship Enterprise and toilet paper, have in common?
- They both orbit Uranus searching for Klingons.
- Why do men have a hole in their penis?
So they can get oxygen to their brains.
- Why do men enjoy fishing so much?
- It's the only time someone will say to them, Cor' thats a big one.
- Why did the condom cross the road?
- It got pissed off.
- What kind of boat pulls Dracula when he water ski's?
- A blood vessel.
- Why are there fences around cemetaries?
- Because people are dying to get in.
- Why didnt the skeleton cross the road?
- He didnt have the guts.
- What did the cannible do after dumping his girlfriend?
- Wiped his arse.
- What did the clergyman call a double orgasm?
- The second coming.
- Why did the idiot shoot his clock?
- He was trying to kill time.
- Why is a nymphomaniac like a doorknob?
- Because everyone gets a turn.
- What do you call Einstein masterbating?
- A stroke of genius.
- Why was the stupid, shortsighted woman look at her washing machine all afternoon?
- She thought she was watching wrestling on TV.
- First idiot: This match wont work
- Second idiot: Why not
- First idiot: I dont know, it worked just a minute ago.
- How do men know when they're getting old?
- They start having dry dreams and wet farts.
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